A new translation of the Bible is in the works. It is called the “new conservative bible”. The guidelines are unsurprising: avoid Liberal Bias at all costs (note the capitalization), don’t emasculate (no gender inclusive language), no dumbing down (tall order), use (they say “utilize”) Powerful Conservative Terms (those capitals again), combat Harmful Addiction (use “gamble” rather than “cast lots”; will that stop Wall Street?), do not downplay the very real existence of hell or the devil (capitals, but I’m getting tired), express Free Market Parables (Looking Forward to the Translation of the Story of jesus Kicking Salesmen Out of the temple), exclude Later-inserted Inauthentic Passages (ah, the adulteress story is out: too easy for liberals to use), etc… etc…

Looking forward to translations of she the spirit doing things, such as “she fluttered over the waters” in Genesis…. Or are our conservatives going with Latin translations of ruaḥ as masculine spiritus? Fun.

A quote to finish with this silly topic: “Socialistic terminology permeates English translations of the Bible, without justification. This improperly encourages the “social justice” movement among Christians.”